Paper Hearts
by Lucius Malloy
Summary: Rose's and Scorpius's relationship truly begins with a request to borrow a quill... where will it end? Epistolary. Rated for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**Oi, Weasley! Can I borrow a quill?**

_I have a name, Malfoy._

**Yeah, I know. The quill?**

_The name?_

**FINE. Rose, would you please be so kind as to lend me your spare quill, seeing as I forgot all of mine in the dormitory, seeing as I was in a bit of a hurry, seeing as someone took 45 freaking minutes in the bathroom? What do women do in there all that time?**

_You can't say you don't appreciate the effect, though._

**No, you're right – what?**

_I said, you can't say you don't appreciate the effect._

**No, I got it, I just... what?**

_Come off it, Malfoy, I know what you think about me._

**Hey, if I have to call you Rose, you have to call me by my name, too.**

_Fine. Come off it, Scorpius, I know what you think about me._

**And what might that be?**

_So I need to tell you what you think now? I thought you had your silly sidekicks to do that for you?_

**Sidekicks? If you mean Goyle and Zabini, I haven't really hung out with them all year. They were... well, let's just say they were too narrow-minded for me.**

_Narrow-minded?_

**Pureblood fascists.**

_I thought that was all over?_

**On paper it is.**

_Ah. So, you're not a pureblood fascist then?_

**Of course not – I'm talking to you, aren't I?**

_You call this talking?_

**You know what I mean.**

_*sigh* I suppose I do. But anyway, why aren't you off with them?_

**'Cause they're idiots. All that crap ended years ago, when your parents and your uncle... well, you know what they did. You don't need me parroting it all back. **

_No, I most certainly do not. However, I do seem to remember hearing that your father was my mother's biggest tormentor at school._

**Tormentor? Where do you get this stuff?**

_Don't change the subject._

**Okay, okay; so my father bullied your mother. I'm not my father! Is it so hard to believe? **

_Yes it is, actually, since your father was a direct clone of his father._

**Er, no he wasn't. You clearly don't know my father or my grandfather. Okay, I'll admit that Grandfather is a bit of an ass, but Father isn't, not any more. I realise how cliché this sounds, but he changed after the war! He realised the error of his ways, turned to walk in the light, blah blah blah. And Mother? She tells everyone she's a pureblood, but the truth is _her_ mother was a Squib. Which is worse than being Muggle-born, in most opinions. And as for me? I don't give a fucking damn, Rose. When will you believe that?**

_When you start acting like it._

**So I'm not?**

_Nope. Not while you're still hexing Gryffindors for the fun of it._

**Aha! See, that's where you're wrong. I haven't hexed Gryffindors – hexed anyone, for that matter – since the beginning of sixth year! And especially not since we got the Head positions. You'd have killed me.**

_Quite possible._

**So you believe me now? I'm not a pureblood supremacist, never have been and never will be?**

_We'll see about that._

"Mr Malfoy, Miss Weasley, is there a problem?"

"No, sir."

"Most definitely not, sir."

**Rose, just give me the damn quill before Sluggy murders me, 'kay?**

_Sluggy wouldn't murder you, he's too soft for that._

**He might not, but he'd give me detention, ostensibly with Filch, and he would kill me.**

_Tempting as letting Filch kill you is, here. But I still don't know if I believe your whole "don't give a damn" spiel._

**We'll talk later, all right?**

_Fine_.

"Mr Malfoy and Miss Weasley! Really, Head Boy and Girl, I never thought I'd have to give you both detention... but I'm afraid note-passing is simply not tolerable during my classes. See me after class, if you please, both of you."

"Yes, Professor."

"Yes, sir."

_I'm going to kill you, Malfoy._

* * *

><p>AN: I've always wanted to write something epistolary. And plus, my longer, 'main' fic is getting kinda heavy, so I wanted to do something lighter. And I've wanted to write Rose/Scorpius for a while. So I'm killing a bunch of birds with one stone.


	2. Chapter 2

_Malfoy, you dipshit, you went and got me detention! I'm a Weasley. We don't get detention._

**I thought we were using first names now? And anyway, Weasleys do so get detention. Or need I remind you of your twin uncles?**

_Jesus Christ, you and your first names. Scorpius, you dipshit, you went and got me detention! And besides, even if Weasleys do get detention – I'm half Granger, and Grangers definitely don't get detention._

**Ah, you may have a point there, Miss Half-Granger. But, just so you know – you got yourself detention. All I did was play along.**

_You can't mean what I think you mean._

**I mean exactly what you think I mean.**

_How can you know that? You're not a Legilimens._

**How can you know that? But anyway, were you or were you not thinking that I'm a giant douche for insinuating that you went and got yourself detention?**

… _I was._

**Well, then, I must be a giant douche, 'cause that's exactly what I'm insinuating. You, Rose Weasley, just went and got yourself detention. And if you don't stop chucking those notes at me so bloody obviously, you'll get a second one to match.**

_Damn you, Scorpius, damn you._

**Hey, all I did was reply to your notes. You would have been mad if I'd blown you off, right?**

_Right._

**Exactly, so you can't be mad at me for not blowing you off.**

_I suppose._

**Besides, you got McGonagall – that woman loves you. Plus, she's going senile, have you noticed?**

_She is not going senile!_

**Yesterday, she was teaching us how to Transfigure household objects, but she accidentally turned her desk into an elephant.**

_I'm sure that could happen to anyone._

**Keep telling yourself that, dear, and maybe one day it'll come true.**

_Don't you 'dear' me!_

**Oh, I'm sorry. Would you prefer honey?**

_I would prefer my name, if indeed you have to talk to me at all._

**Oh, Rosie, you wound me! (Better?)**

_Ah, if you must._

**I must.**

_Fine, then. Now, do you understand any of this Arithmancy bullshit?_

**Yes, I do, actually.**

_Would you mind, um, explaining some of it? 'Cause I really don't get it._

**Miss Half-Granger doesn't get it? Alert the Daily Prophet at once! **

_Shush! Remember, I'm also half Weasley. Half Ron Weasley, to be precise. He really doesn't get it. At all._

**Meh, I suppose that is true. I'm still having a field day with this, just so you know.**

_Oh, I know. And I resent it. Also, I think Vector may resent your joyous crowing._

**Joyous crowing?**

_Yeah. It isn't nearly as quiet as you think._

**I'm devastated.**

_I'm sure you are. Now, this Arithmancy?_

**Impatient, are we?**

_I just kinda want to get it over with, all right? I'm hungry._

**Hungry... that reminds me. Could I sit with you at lunch, do you think?**

_Er... why?_

**Cause I'm not a pureblood fascist, remember? Okay, so hardly any of the Slytherins are, but they're just... irritating me at the moment. So could I sit with you?**

_As long as the others don't mind, I suppose._

**The others?**

_Hugo, Albus, Lily. My family?_

**Oh, joy. A Weasley reunion. Do you have it every meal?**

_If you want to sit with me, suck it up. I'm not deserting my family to sit with you. Ha. _

**Fineeeeee.**

_Now, the Arithmancy?_

**Yeah, yeah.**

_Thanks._


End file.
